When you're in a relationship - whether it's your romantic partner, friends or family - one might often find themselves making motions to express their love and concern towards them. Dr. Gary Chapman, an American author and host of a radio talk show, was the first to introduce the concept of "The Love Language." This phrase describes a person's preferred method of showing and receiving love or affection from a partner. Without realizing it, you could have more than one primary love language. It's vital to make sure you're speaking in your partner's preferred love language in addition to knowing your own. When two individuals have different love languages, sometimes even the deepest feelings might be misunderstood.
Affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch are among the five various types of love languages. Keep in mind that not everyone expresses or receives love in the same manner. Here are some instances of what each love language means and how it can be used.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
People who prioritize verbal expressions of affection, compliments, expressions of appreciation, verbal encouragement, and active listening and communication are said to have the love language of words of affirmation. Here are some actions you can show your loved one that you appreciate them:
1. Communicate frequently. Check in mid day by calling or texting. 2. Compliment their looks or how amazing they are at doing something.
3. Write an unexpected love letter.
4. Write an affirmation quote on a sticky note, and place it somewhere you know they are going to read it.
QUALITY TIME
If the person is always down to hang out, gives full focus, actively listens and maintains eye contact, they value every moment of the relationship. This is the person who loves language quality time, they love to be in the moment and cherishes it with all their heart. Here are other actions that can help you:
1. Create special moments together, for instance go for a walk, play board games while having a deep conversation 2. Participate on your partner's hobbies
GIFT GIVING
This is an extremely simple love language. When someone surprises you with a gift, you instantly feel cherished. The cherry on top is if you give them a present that demonstrates that you paid attention. For instance, if you know they enjoy Kit Kats, surprise them with that treat. Or, for example, if you see that person is about to run out of anything, replenish it for them.They will be very grateful for it and may repay the favour in the future.
ACTS OF SERVICE
This is when someone believes actions speak louder than words. They go out of their way to make your life a bit easier. This could be like bringing someone soup when they are sick, making coffee in the morning or picking up the dry cleaning when the other person is too busy to do it. Here are some bonus services to add:
1. Make breakfast in bed 2. Do chores and dance to music together
3. Use action phrases like “I'll help..”
4. Massages - this can be apart of the Physical Touch Love Language as well.
PHYSICAL TOUCH
People who express love by physical touch appreciate it when they are shown physical affection. This could be nonverbal, physical touch. This Love Language can be shown through actions like holding hands, kissing, cuddling on the couch, and other types of physical intimacy. One touch can be quite uplifting and act as a strong emotional bond.
IT'S NOT JUST YOU
Yes, receiving any of these love languages from a spouse or friend may feel truly wonderful. Remember that they are also people with emotions and expectations. Even though they might not ask, it would be wonderful if you returned the favor by showing them that you value what they do for you.
In an ideal world, we would like to satisfy the cravings of our lovers or pals. It can be extremely simple to fall out of communication at times, especially while attempting to convey affection. For instance, you might be texting your spouse or a friend right now, sending affirmations or love notes believing you're showing tremendous love - which is a beautiful gesture - but in contrast, your partner would rather have face-to-face time and physical contact. And may even feel unloved for it, wondering why you're never interested in spending time with them on the couch. Not everyone has the same language, but on most occasions, one partner acts out their own Love Language, instead of their partner's.
Knowing your love language and others' love language is important so you can let your romantic partners and other important people in your life know how to give you the validation you need. And knowing your partner's love language is equally vital, as that should guide how you treat them.